Learning to Fight Changed Everything for Me: Empowerment Self Defense Access was the Key

I was in college when I realized how many women in my life had been sexually assaulted. But the clues, of course, were there my whole life. There was a reason my mom wanted me to “put my legs together” that time I was 11 and we were sitting in a mountain town eating ice cream. There was a reason that boys weren’t allowed in my room when I was in high school, that I wasn’t allowed to be with just boys when I was out with friends. There was a reason my mom wouldn’t let me wear that slinky black dress to the school dance when I was 15.

The ways the people in my life protected me were wrapped in the unvoiced fear of sexual assault. Those forms of protection looked like controlling my clothes, body, and social life. The innocent young me didn’t understand why I couldn’t just hang out with my guy friends – I trusted them. The innocent young me didn’t understand why I couldn’t wear that black dress – my girlfriends had told me how hot I was wearing it. I didn’t understand why I had to put my legs together when I was just relaxing.

When I was in college, a student was sexually assaulted on a school trip. My friend, Claire, knew the victim well and told me how the chaperones “mishandled” the situation, how the school “mishandled” the situation, the closed-door deal that meant the victim couldn’t publicly talk about how they had “mishandled” the situation. Claire told me about the trauma the victim was living with, and the ways she was trying to fix the system so they couldn’t “mishandle” sexual assault in the future. Then Claire told me about her own trauma, how supporting her friend was bringing all of her own memories into the light. Then my friend, Skye, told me about her trauma. Then my roommate. All of a sudden, I realized how many women in my life had been sexually assaulted. I realized, too, that I was at risk because it seemed to happen everyone.

Did my world get smaller with that realization? Maybe. When I traveled to Europe after college, I stayed in women-only hostels. I was hyper-vigilant when walking or hiking alone. I only went out at night when I was with friends, and spent precious money to take taxis instead of busses. One day, in Bath, England, I went on a solo hike on a well-marked public trail outside the city. In the middle of a beautiful wooded area, a couple stopped me. “Are you alone?” they asked. I hedged, knowing I shouldn’t tell them I was alone on the trail, alone in the country. “You shouldn’t be alone,” they said. “This is the area where there were attacks on women.” Then, they left me alone. I turned around and ran back to my hostel, seeing menacing figures in every shadow.

A few years after college, I went to an IMPACT class graduation. My roommate took me, and I swear I had no idea what we were going to – I thought it was either a dance recital or a ceremony with certificates and crudites. Instead, we watched women fighting. Fighting, seemingly, for their lives. Thin women. Heavier women. Grey-haired women. I watched one woman after the other successfully fight attackers in bulky blue overalls with huge padded helmets. The women were hitting and kicking and elbowing with all of their strength, moving quick and confident all over the mats laid on the floor.

I was stunned. You could fight back. I signed up for the first IMPACT class that I could. Then the next, and the next. I took three IMPACT classes in one summer, moving from the “Basics” to “Advanced” to “Defense Against the Armed Assailant”. I learned how to fight. I moved quick and confident all over the mats. I connected with other women, became witness to stories of assault and survival. Through IMPACT, I found confidence and control over my life that I hadn’t ever felt before. Learning to fight gave me autonomy over my clothes, body, and social life. Learning to fight gave me more options and ways to move through the world – I could take busses, I could hike alone, I could live alone. Learning to fight changed my life.

A few years later and after moving back to Colorado, I connected with the local IMPACT chapter. I was driven to help, somehow, in some way. As a class assistant, I helped others learn how to fight. Then, I became a certified instructor, and I became better and better and teaching others how to fight. When I learned about ESD Global, and the ways they are bringing self-defense to the entire world, I knew that it was an important and vital organization. I recognized that I was extremely lucky to have lived in two cities where there were vibrant empowerment self defense programs, and that everyone in the whole world deserved the opportunity to take such a life-changing class.

I recently became the Regional Manager for Canada and the United States with ESD Global. I am creating a network of ESD graduates and instructors and arranging for training opportunities. I’m also still teaching and developing curriculum with IMPACT Personal Safety of Colorado. There’s a lot of people to teach, and I feel driven to help at the local, national, and global levels.

The work of empowerment self defense is vital to our world – to the self-esteem, autonomy, and safety of everyone, especially our young people. We don’t have to live in a world where a child can’t wear what they want, can’t hang out with the friends they trust, can’t relax on a hot day. We can change the world.

Author:

Krista Hanley (she/her) earned instructor certification with IMPACT Personal Safety of Colorado (IPSCO) in 2017, before which she was an assistant instructor from 2012. Hanley's instructor certification includes teaching teens, adults, advanced, defense against the armed assailant, family courses, and bystander. Some of her specialized training includes ALERRT Civilian Response to Active Shooter Events certification, Trauma Informed Certification, ESD Speaker School, and non-violent communication courses. Hanley is currently also the Program Director with IPSCO.

In addition to self-defense teaching, Hanley is an art management professional, handling art collections and curating exhibitions. She has twenty plus years of experience in non-profit administration in the arts sector. She has a Masters in Gallery Management from Western Colorado University, and a BFA in photography from the College of Santa Fe. In her spare time, she is a writer, painter, and photographer. Kristahanley.com